Tagged: First World Problem

Six Sentence Sunday – 09/12/12

Hello again!

Welcome to another Sunday – which of course means another six sentences. I’ve really been enjoying this process of revelling mealy six of the (what feels like at times) millions of sentences that I write throughout t the week. It’s fantastic to see people enjoying what I’ve been presenting and given some helpful advice along the way. I’m very grateful for all the wonderful support you’ve been giving me over the past few weeks. So a big thank you to each and everyone one of you for reading.

This six comes from part two of the series and is about the consequence of the big night I had last night. Yes, it was last night –  Hence why this six is so fresh. It was only written his morning & I still have the feeling I might vomit every two seconds. Don’t feel sorry for me, (I’d be surprised if you did), It is only the fault of myself and the 5 bottles of wine me and my friend consumed.

This weeks six:

I’ve got the usual suspects – Headache, fragile stomach and world-class weariness.

Ideally, I need a recovery that is as fast as Usain Bolt, and as smooth as David Beckham’s arse..

The ritual of deep fried breakfast and orange juice has proven helpful time and time again to relieve the horrendous pain in my head and dulls the urge to kill anyone who dares to make loud noises around me.

If this hangover were a film, it wouldn’t have a decent plot line and would most definitely be in a foreign language: Unbearably boring to watch and overwhelmingly confusing to understand.

I still feel a little like this

I still feel a little like this

You like it? Hate it? Comment on it! xx

Blake. xx


Extreme Sexual Flashbacks In Public…

SO I was sittin in a cafe this morning doing some work on the series, when I started to write a Mills & Boon scene. Some of you will know my background in writing pretty much covers comedy, and not much else. Never have I been asked to write about real love, sex, or something that doesn’t contain a joke about breasts.  So now that I’ve been asked to write about my own love life (and to not leave out the sexy details), I tend to have quite realistic ‘sex flashbacks’ .. in public

I’m one of those writers that really has to get into what I’m writing. (Yep, I’m one of those wankers) So I visualise everything. I’m very lucky that I’m writing about my own life and own experiences because I’ve already lived what I’m writing. But when I want to go back to.. say that night with a particularly hot guy; I have to close my eyes and really get back to that frame of mind. What was I feeling, doing, ect. So when it starts to get a little hot and heavy.. the palms start to sweat, the smile on my face increases, and before I know it I look like this:

Replace Judith with the waitress holding my coffee with a look of concern on her face as one of her patrons is having (what looks like ) an orgasim in her cafe and you have the situation that was this morning.

Perhaps I should start writing these scenes in the privacy of my own home.

Six Sentence Sunday – 25th of November.

So I’ve got something a little special for this weeks ‘Six Sentence Sunday‘ ..

Firstly, thank you for everyones comments last week. I really appreciated them.

This is a snippet from the second instalment of my series ‘Mr Perfect’s Apprentice’ which isn’t being released until February. Not even my beautiful editor or publisher has seen this before. It’s fresh from the writing desk. Take a look:

His hand caresses my blushed red cheeks as his face gets closer toward mine. I close my eyes and simply let my lips touch his.

It might be the four wines I’ve had, but I feel my body surrender to what is happening as I feel his right hand wrap around my waist drawing me closer to his strong and solid body. My smile is uncontrollable as he draws back to look at me.

“For a first time kisser, that was pretty damn good.”

I want to say something witty like Youtube tutorials can actually teach you anything” but on second thought, I think a less honest approach is the way to go.

I would like to this I didn’t look this stupid. But there is a 90% chance I did.

Please note, that the video I linked isn’t the actually video that I watched to learn how to kiss, (yes, this is a true story) but the one I’ve linked his hilarious. Defiantly worth a giggle.

So that’s my first kiss. If you liked that then I can assure you you’ll love the rest of that chapter. Keep an eye for ‘Second Time Lucky’ being released in February and ‘At First You Don’t Succeed’ being released in January by ‘Tercio Publishing’.  Watch this space!

I’d love any feedback you may have. As a new writer, any advice from anyone is useful. Hit the ‘Leave a comment’ button bellow and don’t forget to add your six sentence link to the comment so I can read yours.

Blake. xxx

Six Sentence Sunday – 18th of November.

My first ‘Six Sentence Sunday!’ 

This is a small snippet from my series ‘Mr Perfect’s Apprentice’ – Part 1: At first you don’t succeed. Basically I was extremely happy about my recently retail purchase, and I saw this really hot guy on the train whom I thought he was giving me flirtatious eyes.. Maybe he was checking out my new shirt.. Maybe not.

I begin to make my way towards the doors of the train when ‘sexy eyes’ stops me in my tracks..

“Excuse me, but I just thought you should know..”

That I am the man of your dreams and you want to take me away to your penthouse apartment to make passionate love to me all night long whilst whispering sweet nothings in my ear?

“.. that you’ve forgotten to take the price tag off your shirt.”

I want to climb into a hole and die, but I take a deep breath and reach around to the back of my shirt to rip off the tag. Somehow I don’t think sexy eyes is jealous of my op-shop purchase, even if I did get it for $2.50.

I do apologise for my lack of blogging. It’s been a busy few weeks getting the first part of the series sent of to the editor. I can’t wait for you guys to read it!

Let me know what you think of my first ‘Six Sentence Sunday!’ and feel free to follow and talk to me on twitter or ‘facewhore’ aka facebook. 

Blake. xx

P.S Any feedback would be great.


Latte VS Flat White.

It’s the first thing that everybody notices about Melbourne. Our abundance of Cafés and our amazing coffee culture. Coming from the sticks, where a coffee is ‘Nescafé’ instant crap, the whole idea that coffee doesn’t just dissolve in hot water is very new to me. I blame my parents in the failure that is my coffee education. So I’ve decided to take myself to a coffee course to learn the “art” that is coffee making. It seems to be the industry in this city that is always in need of people to work in. And from what I’ve seen, it doesn’t take very much apart from being charming and friendly. So I’ll give it a shot. How hard can it be?

I had to be at this place by 9am. I still have no idea how these bloody tram things work: Do they have a structured timetable or, do they just run whenever they want to? Because that’s what it feels like. Anyway, so I arrived 15 minutes late thanks to the public transport system, luckily the woman was just explaining about the coffee beans and the two different types so I didn’t miss much. After about an hour of ranting how the coffee must be stored and how to treat the coffee, we finally get around to making these things. Getting the ‘grind’ right and making sure it’s tampered correctly. Most of the class had problems with this, and it never worked for them. To my surprise, I was finding it all very easy. Perhaps to easy. I’m no ‘Brain-Pie’ so either these kids are just plain stupid or I’m a natural barista. I would like to hope it was the latter, but one can never be sure. Then it was all about the different types of coffee. I never did a language at school, but I sure wish I leant Italian now. Piccolo, Affogato, Macchiato, Galão, Caffè Marcocchino blah blah blah. Learning these was not the difficult part. The one part of this course that I got really stuck in was the difference between the Café Latte and Flat White.

And this is where I got really confused. The ‘latte’ and the ‘flat white’ (From my understanding), are the exact same thing just in different cups. So I had to ask.

“Whats the difference between a flat white and a latte?”

She paused and had to think for a second. “I won’t tell you. I’ll show you”

And so she began. She made IDENTICAL COFFEES. In different cups of course; one mug and one glass cup. The only thing she did differently was putting less froth into the flat white.

“So basically” .. I said, trying my hardest not to sound patronising. “It’s the exact same thing but in different cups.”

“Essentially, yes. But flat white has less froth.”

To a coffee novice (to me), they are the exact same thing. So I decided to be a little playful. The last part of the class was to make the three most popular coffees which are of course; the Café Latte, The Cappuccino, and the Flat White. I made three IDENTICAL COFFEES in three different cups/mugs. Put a little love heart in chocolate powder on top of the Cappuccino but that’s it. Otherwise, three identical coffees. She tried all three before nodding her head and telling me what a wonderful job I did. This is a woman who has obviously been surrounded by coffee her entire career, so she must know a thing or two.

She then continued to ask me if I was looking for work. Hells to the yeah I’m looking for work! She has a friend on Bourke Street that is looking for an apprentice barista to work in his cafe. She thinks (and I quote)

“A good looking guy like yourself could do a great job in this industry.”

I now have an interview on Friday.

In the meantime I’m doing some research, which is basically drinking as much coffee as I can. Here is a photo of my LARGE latte. Once I stop shaking I might go for a run to get rid of all the energy before crashing tonight in front of a Sandra Bullock film.

Also, I’ve just gotten my Twitter up and going, so please feel free to follow as I slowly figure out what the fuck twitter is.

Much love

Blake xxx