So, this is actually a rather funny story.
A friend of a friend runs an E-Book publishing company and seems to think I lead a pretty funny life. Nobody else has ever thought this, but according to her, I do. So with her help, I’ll be realising (in parts) interesting stories from my life for the rest of the world to laugh at. My misfortunes and highlights as I discover how to become Mr Perfect for Mr Right.
I’ll give you a little background of myself though; I’ve moved to Melbourne to escape the Middle-of-Fucking-Nowhere that is my home town. I’ve known that the country life wasn’t for me since the day my father asked me to shovel cow-shit into bags for him to sell. You can probably imagine the look of disgust on my face- at seven tender years of age- as he handed me the shovel and gloves. He learnt quite quickly to not ask again. You can’t force a car to fly like you can’t force a child with the ‘fabulous’ gene to do country farm work. It just goes against nature.
If you’ve ever been to the Generic-Country-Town (you know the type), you should be well aware that there is nothing for a Someone with Big Dreams…well, my kind of Big Dreams anyway. But hey, if you dreams include becoming farmer with a wife and a few brats running around, or perhaps a single plumber who drinks his days away- knock yourself out- dream big. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing bad about this kind of aspiration- if that is what makes you happy, go forth and be merry. But if ‘Sex and the City’ has taught me anything, it is that the world has so much to give to someone with a reasonable sized brain and a heart full of love. So, naturally, there is very little for this town to offer me. And love is certainly something Melbourne has plenty of.
All my life I knew I’d move to Melbourne, I knew I’d be coming to find love.. but what else? I’ve formed my identity around the idea that I was a student, So now I’m longer studying, who am I? The question I dread at every social occasion is ‘So what it is that you are doing this year?’ This is also the Number One ‘getting to know each other’ date question. It makes perfect sense; you can learn so much about a person just by ‘what’ they do. If someone is to tell you that they are a medical student,for example, we can already safely assume the following things: the man obviously has a great deal of intelligence, must be very caring and warm hearted, and must be very good with his hands. On the downside: he could be socially awkward, arrogant, and emotionally ignorant. Maybe he’d also have an ego the size of the sun and would always be right in every situation, with the reason “But I’m a doctor” to back that up. I’m making very rash-generalizations here, not all doctors can be good with their hands, but you get what I’m saying. As hard as we can try not to judge someone on what they ‘do’ we are going to judge a little. So you can imagine what people are going to say when they hear the following reply to the question ‘What do you do?’
“Oh, I’m a 19 year old who has moved from the country to live with an Aunt (whom I barely know) and her cats. I have no real ambition or life purpose yet and to put the cherry on top, I’m a virgin who has never been kissed.” Awkward.
Perhaps I wouldn’t include that last part for people I just met, but it gives you the imagery of where my life is at the moment doesn’t it. I wouldn’t blame the poor sucker for hearing that story and doing an Olympic sprint in the opposite direction. That description (and I’m sure everything else about me) just screams Desperate Deadbeat. But that’s the wonderful thing about this year. I have a chance to focus on nothing else but myself- and who/what I want to be and ‘DO’. I’m going to change that unsightly description of myself and turn it into something incredible. I have the opportunity to reinvent myself, and because there wasn’t very much to begin with, so therefor I have a blank canvas to get started on.
So please join me on my journey of self-discovery as I try to find what the hell is it i’m supposed to be doing on this planet. I’ll be updating this thing as often as I can think of it.